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.:  :: 12.20.24 :: The Time Capsule Of The Self :. |
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notice: this blog entry touches on topics of school bullying. you can skip to the two paragraphs just before the list if you want to avoid it!
you know, recently, i think a lot about how much i do n... |
| .: :: 12.07.24 :: The Frightened Paper Tiger Mystery :. |
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once upon a time, i was browsing tumblr and saw a video, as one tends to do on tumblr dot com.
it was a recording of someone playing with something resembling an origami paper tiger. they would take... |
.:  :: 12.04.24 :: Windows, Or Lack Thereof :. |
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something that fucking irritates me sooooo much about using windows is that i can never tell what it's thinking!
how it should be:
windows process starts happening
i look at the task manager and s... |
.:  :: 11.25.24 :: What's In A Neoname? :. |
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back when i first played neopets in 2002, i was having so much trouble with pet names. i was really really young at the time - young enough that i had to have my parents send in a COPPA form to the ad... |
| .: :: 11.22.2024 :: The Toyhou.se Content Warning System: That's Not What That Is For :. |
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disclaimer: all usernames and identifying information (age, demographic, etc) is redacted for privacy. if you can figure out a person's profile from given information.... don't fucking contact them!... |
| .: :: 11.12.24 :: A Retelling Of The History Of Fuzz Academy :. |
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setting the scene
it's 2008. the e-machine tower hums, and the low, dull crackle from the modem massages your brain as you wait five million years for the dial-up to connect you to your destination... |
| .: :: 11.9.24 :: deconstructing the dogthingwalker :. |
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the first step in making something is figuring out what the hell you want to make, and how you want to set it up...
i'll be honest, it actually occurred to me midway through the entire process that... |
| .: :: 10.31.24 :: WEBFISHING :. |
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when i was very little, i went camping for the first time. it was me, my mom, my dad, and my sister, and we went to celebrate my mom's birthday in late july. i remember burning my finger on the met... |
| .: :: 10.12.24 :: My Ideal Pokewalker Emulator :. |
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pokemon heartgold and soulsilver released in in 2009. released in parallel was the pokewalker addon, which would connect to the games via infrared connection. (the carts even have a darkened panel on... |
| .: :: 10.06.24 :: A Proper Goodbye to Cohost :. |
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cohost.org shut its doors on october 1st, 2024.
it's hard to put it into words what i did and didn't like about it. i think the lack of numbers was excellent. i found it broke a lot of habits i didn'... |
| .: :: 10.04.24 :: Another Bandcamp Friday :. |
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happy bandcamp friday, everyone! here's some albums i got today.
virtua by trndytrndy ; very early 2000s/late 90s midi goodness. welcome to eyewitness
television by nobonoko ; delightful playful synth... |
| .: :: 09.30.24 :: Auntie, Uncle, and Oddy :. |
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my sister had a baby today! i'm not sure what that makes me, but i'm happy for her, so i guess it makes me 'happy', LOL. my friend autumn said i was an ant and i was like no i think i am more of a her... |
| .: :: 09.20.24 :: Demystifying Catz, part 2 :. |
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here's my check-in! i extracted a whole lot of in-game text strings, and i've found even more variables to play with. this is getting interesting...
firstly: i used a program called GBA Explorer. t... |
| .: :: 09.17.24 :: Bookmarks And Feeds :. |
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so, in case you didn't notice - some facelifting has been done to the journal layout again, and the sun tea layout has had a slight revamp (since i didn't like the range of colors i picked - mostly j... |
| .: :: 09.12.24 :: Tagging In ft. Eggbug's Goodbye :. |
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pretty significant refactoring in how journals are tagged, including a functioning 'tag search' that should - theoretically - show you all posts with that tag. i'm still feeling out how i want to cat... |
| .: :: 09.12.24 :: Demystifying Catz for the GBA :. |
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(some of this was posted to my cohost account prior to shutdown.)
catz for the gba is one of those games that might be considered 2000s bargain-bin quality. this is one of those games that got hit wi... |
| .: :: 08.27.24 :: Clouds Roll By... :. |
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i've done some refinement to blog listings on the respective collection pages so that it's easier to parse and traverse.
ive been too tired lately to do much art or do anything particularly creative.... |
| .: :: 08.05.24 :: Animal Crossing: Spam, Junk, and Treasure :. |
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i have been playing animal crossing for the gamecube recently. i found myself struggling badly to figure out the answer to one question: what in the HELL counts as a 'good' letter to a villager? do yo... |
| .: :: 08.01.24 :: An Incomplete Catalogue Of Pokemon Fansites :. |
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i went on a deep dive and went looking at a bunch of pokemon fansites for a web-based pokemon fangame i remember from when i was no older than 6. the game itself was isometric, featuring gen 2 pokemo... |
| .: :: 07.13.24 :: Having Fun With It :. |
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in addition to other misc cleanup, i've started properly sorting out my modern winamp skin creation index. in contrast to classic skins, which have much less to work with, there's a lot more flexibili... |
| .: :: 06.24.24 :: Engineering :. |
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after what felt like ages, i have finalized changes and additions to my winamp skin directory and classic winamp skin creation tutorial pages. aough. i hate writingggggggg. i hope theyre useful and fu... |
| .: :: 06.14.24 :: The Hatches! Open! :. |
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further edits have been made to my characters page, notably new refs for loon and swifty. these are also uploaded to my artfight profile. i wanted to make sure everything was set in stone before the t... |
| .: :: 06.05.24 :: The Preparation For The Storm :. |
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in preparation for artfight next month, my characters page has gone under slight renovation and now is pretty much done again. i would like to get a new properly-redrawn ref done for loon before the e... |
| .: :: 05.07.24 :: Walls and Footholds :. |
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lately i have been trying to find a new approach to my creative processes. this has had its own effects, a ripple on my little pond, through different unrelated endeavors, like finding fun in things,... |
| .: :: 05.02.24 :: Extra! Extra! :. |
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hooray! the 3d thumbnails aren't broken anymore. (i had forgotten to convert them over when i converted the 2d gallery.) i have added a toggle to show/hide alt text - the alt text has always been the... |
| .: :: 05.01.24 :: Rattle Rattle :. |
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i cleaned up (read: deleted) some old old art entries (and they were broken already oops). i've also uploaded some new art, and we recently affiliated with citadark (my friend miles). you can see his... |
| .: :: 04.28.24 :: Firestar's Allegory of the Cave :. |
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there is a very interesting quirk that i've noticed in the warrior cats fandom.
now, i don't really pay attention to fandom in modern days. that said, i read the books growing up, i drew fanart, i r... |
| .: :: 04.26.24 :: Pixel Cats End :. |
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have you played pixel cat's end? i've been playing it for a year and a half (as of writing). i think it's really cute and fun and easygoing. a lot of petsites tend to hook the player into patterns th... |
| .: :: 04.08.24 :: Goodbye 3ds :. |
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the 3ds and wii u servers are going down today. you can upload your spotpass data to the spotpass archival project if you want to contribute to future community efforts to revive the service. i even... |
| .: :: 03.26.24 :: What Is An Animal :. |
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i have been listening to an audiobook of Wild Magic by tamora pierce recently. an excellent writer who gives her characters interesting, likeable personalities while playing within and outside expect... |
| .: :: 03.24.24 :: My Favorite Tumblr Compliments :. |
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here is an informal list of some of my favorite tags ive gotten over the past long while on my tumblr art blog. entries anonymized save for direct quotes themselves!
these will all have the hashtags... |
| .: :: 03.23.24 :: Art as an Adjective :. |
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when i was in middle school, i decided to become an artist.
you would think this isn't really something you consciously decide, i guess. but i decided firmly that it was what i wanted to do. i wante... |
| .: :: 03.16.24 :: Statement Continues :. |
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firstly: i've got more artwork added in. i have some WIP articles being written about winamp and fuzz academy, but i've been too tired to work on them at length. for the most part, the biggest change... |
| .: :: 03.06.24 :: Dusty :. |
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i've added further integration of posts on the front page. i didn't really neeeeed a separate layout for blog posts at all. i figured it'd just be nice all around, and might also be really nice to in... |
| .: :: 02.27.24 :: A Torrent :. |
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im finally doing a fairly significant update... the archive is moved to the left nav, and recent art posts are listed above the news entries on the main page. AND THERE'S AN RSS FEED FOR THAT!
that... |
| .: :: 02.20.24 :: Occasional Thunder :. |
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it's almost time for the site's anniversary... unfortunately the project i wanted to complete for it will be taking longer than expected. who knows when it'll be done? though i would still like to ma... |
| .: :: 02.19.24 :: Kick In The Ass :. |
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the site now has an rss feed, and the front page features blog posts instead of individual update logs. this will ideally lead to me making more log posts like this to properly elaborate on what i... |
| .: :: 02.16.24 :: Love is... :. |
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"i can tell you love her, you just totally lit up!"
coming home feels like i'm going on a vacation.
my thoughts always meander back to her.
i bring her up all the time when i'm around strangers. she's... |
.:  :: 2.14.24 :: Back and Forth :. |
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valentimes.... i celebrated my sixth anniversary with my sweet girlfriend recently, i just came back from visiting her up in oregon. it's interesting how i feel coming back 'home'; every time i come b... |
| .: :: 02.03.24 :: Eyesore & More :. |
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the thing about reviving an old trend or style is that you need to find a middle ground between accuracy and accessibility.
as of late, there's been a scemo/scene/emo/sparkledog type revival. people... |
| .: :: 11.14.23 :: Changing And Staying The Same :. |
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i think ive been dawdling in the past a lot because i'm unhappy w/ the present lately, at least in some regards...
i've always lacked the same independence other people mistake for maturity. even now,... |
| .: :: 10.29.23 :: My HRT Experience :. |
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i think my experience with testosterone is a funny one, and i figure other transmascs might be interested in how it's going / how it started. or maybe you're not transmasc, but are just interested in... |
| .: :: 10.08.23 :: Cooking (in the Metaphorical Sense) :. |
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my back has been hurting more lately... always so achey. on monday i need to start complaining to my various doctors. i have a hard time following through on medical appointment instructions because... |
| .: :: 09.30.23 :: Internet Wisdom :. |
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my mother was a very flawed and insane human being. my feelings on her are complicated. but i have a sort of nostalgia for the stuff she taught me about the internet when i was a puppy.
she taught m... |
| .: :: 09.23.23 :: At Rest :. |
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today was OK. i went out shopping with my dad to get some more distilled water. realizing i do have quite severe agoraphobia and need to reintegrate myself into society again. also realizing no one ma... |
| .: :: 09.19.23 :: All About Dogthings :. |
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what is a dogthing?
a dogthing is a very rudimentary or simple dog... or, dog "thing"... that i draw a lot. theyre inspired by a lot of different dogthings, like the car seat headrest dogs, or that... |
| .: :: 09.16.23 :: Faded T Shirts :. |
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my cat has been sitting in sunbeams again lately... she hadn't for a while but it's funny that i have to look around my chair to make sure she isn't sitting directly behind the wheels... she loves bei... |
| .: :: 09.08.23 :: Memory and Nonhumanity :. |
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saw my psych today, refilled my cpap machine odds and ends on the phone... whew! my psych was - well, psyched, i guess, when i told her i finally got a new chair, and i got to show her pictures i'd t... |
| .: :: 09.07.23 :: Arts and Crafts :. |
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lately ive had the itch to create stuff.... trying lots of new techniques or methods.... there's a lot of mediums that id like to play with irl that i dont have access to due to space/money/time... w... |
| .: :: 08.24.23 :: Every Website An Island :. |
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the difference of social media / blogging vs independent website use is so... strange, honestly. i grew up in such an era before social media, you know, and even still, i feel strange going back to t... |
| .: :: 08.23.23 :: Things My Cat Likes :. |
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here is an unorganized list of things that my cat likes...
the sound of a crinkly paper bag
looking outside my window at night before she goes to bed
playing with her ribbon toy from be... |
| .: :: 08.18.23 :: The Familiar Spiral :. |
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have you heard about how the human brain tends towards the pain it knows towards the pain it doesn't?
our brains are wired for patterns. we crave familiarity, routine, a foothold in a world that's al... |
| .: :: 08.04.23 :: Back To Normal :. |
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after a long journey of medical negligence i have my testosterone back! so i feel much more peaceful again. which feels funny - i always hear this harmful stereotype of "testosterone makes you angry"... |
| .: :: 07.30.23 :: Ship of Theseus :. |
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i had a thought today about the concept of the ship of theseus
so the idea of the ship of theseus, to its bare essentials, is thus: "if you replace all the parts of something, is it the same thing a... |
| .: :: 06.27.23 :: Stasis :. |
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lately ive been feeling simultaneously like ive hit some sort of artistic sweet spot AND like im struggling a bit.
i think ive kind of found the kind of art i'd like to do. i am afraid to sort of pig... |
| .: :: 06.25.23 :: Same Stew Just Reheated :. |
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despite feeling static, i think i've found some fun things to do lately... videogame wise, i played some path of exile with my girlfriend (and had more fun than i expected!), and i'm getting back int... |
| .: :: 06.02.23 :: Who am I, really? :. |
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my cpap mask's filter broke off today so im without a mask for a bit :S auuu auuu. on the bright side, i got my leg bandaged again at wound care, i really like the people who work there.
but i guess... |
| .: :: 05.25.23 :: *12 hours of SEL powerline noise* :. |
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today i got my leg looked at by the wound care department at the hospital! it looks to have healed pretty significantly, but the swelling was still there, so they put a compression stocking on along w... |
| .: :: 05.22.23 :: An Open Window :. |
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hahaaaa. back again! my cpap machine is kind of a wonder to me. i actually catch myself missing the feeling of it on my face in the mornings, much like when i would cover my face with the blanket to... |
| .: :: 05.12.23 :: Sing A Song About Life :. |
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its a nice sunny day here in california!
i am still waiting to hear back from a lot of places about various things. (this includes the wound care department of the hospital, who have yet to set up an... |
| .: :: 05.02.23 :: Springing A Leak :. |
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life has a funny way of fucking with you, i think!
the last few days my leg um. well, title says it! further details, cw fatphobia and medical talk:
so, my legs've been in a state of swelling for.. a... |
| .: :: 04.27.23 :: A Good Nights Rest :. |
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so my cpap machine finally came yesterday! is it weird that it was so exciting to me? i guess i am pretty tired of waking up tired. lol. my dad's perception of cpap machines is a bit jaded.
the setup... |
| .: :: 04.25.23 :: Inspiration Wells :. |
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art's been really rough for me lately, as i've had a lot of struggle doing things i want to do lately. (yes, my cpap machine is still in the mail, thank you very much!) and it is also very hard for me... |
| .: :: 04.19.23 :: The Self-Care Paradox :. |
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sometimes it feels like you're stuck in a loop of being unable to care for yourself and feeling bad for it. like, it feels like they feed into each other so fast, and it's hard to figure out where to... |
| .: :: 04.05.23 :: Avoiding The Holes :. |
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i tend to forget how much certain triggers can affect me. or like. i underestimate it. i go, "oh, well, i should be used to this sort of rhetoric, i can handle it, im stable!' but. um. ~2decades of bu... |
| .: :: 04.03.23 :: Repetition, Repetition, Repetition... :. |
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today i felt very tired. i took a shower, which meant the rest of the day was spent recovering from the very same shower. (friends tell me this isnt normal. and this is probably a POTS thing? idk.)
t... |
| .: :: 03.31.23 :: Drawing From Life :. |
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today i woke up a bit late - 12:30pm or so - but felt better than usual since dad installed a humidifier yesterday morning, which meant my mouth wasn't as dry.
i saw my dad bring it in, and i said, 'o... |
| .: :: 03.25.23 :: Daffodils and Fig Leaves :. |
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after a nightmare of a wildfire and separation from family, i found myself washing dishes in the kitchen this morning.
the weather is fair today. somewhat cloudy, just the puffy ones that come with th... |
| .: :: 03.24.23 :: Self Advocacy and Life Quality :. |
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not another post about my doctor misadventures!!
see, growing up fat and bullied, i've had a long, long time to work through my personal issues and like, generally stand up for myself more in a lot of... |
| .: :: 03.14.23 :: Thoughts On Doctors And Self Advocacy :. |
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man...
just thinking about a recent incident with a doctor. i went in to talk about my chest pains and other symptoms. i showed the doctor my logs and she barely glanced at them, saying that it was... |
| .: :: 02.27.23 :: Strike The Earth! :. |
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greetings or something,
bro im so tired i went to bed at 3am and woke up FIVE TIMES until i just got up at 9. then i napped from 2 to 4. my god. no rest for the forest
played dwarf fortress. got salam... |
| .: :: 02.27.23 :: And The Ultimate Bloging Begins :. |
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umm.... haiii
i found this script and thought it looked neat and maybe a journal would be easier to keep in computer format? lol
i custom-added the status box above so it can feel a bit more... |