The Self-Care Paradox

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sometimes it feels like you're stuck in a loop of being unable to care for yourself and feeling bad for it. like, it feels like they feed into each other so fast, and it's hard to figure out where to start.

i figure i'd put out some methods ive learned as someone with ADHD *and* chronic pain...

method 1: might as well

this method is like, extremely effective over time, in my experience. the idea is to start with breaking a task's first step into the most edible chunk. this means a task that is extremely easy to attain, like, laughably so. and the idea is, you do the step. and then you think... well, i might as well do this related nearby task. (if you still have the energy for more.)

this essentially gives you more agency and causes you to feel less obligated to finish the whole task in one go. you do something you KNOW you can do, tell yourself that you don't HAVE to do more, just that one step, but if you WANT to and feel CAPABLE of it, you can do more.

this means you shouldn't be forcing yourself to do more than you think you can manage. i mean it! you need to be able to leave it after you do the one step. no guilt. you said you'd do that one thing and promised no more!

method 2: convenient placement

literally most of the time all you need is a way to do a self-care task without having to go far. like, honestly, get yourself a batch of floss sticks or a roll of floss and put it by your computer. i literally cannot go a day without needing to use it once or twice.

same way i remember my meds, same way i remember to use my minodoxil daily. hell, even just making a habit of going to brush just because you're already in the bathroom (or if you're showering already!! you can brush teeth in the shower!!) can go a long way.

these two methods are so fucking foolproof for me. i dont need to worry about disappointing anyone or myself. i feel a lot of control over what i do now! so hopefully you find this useful.