mystery box quiz

so there's this box that arrived for you. no theres no label on it. no it wasnt delivered by the postal service they have no idea what you mean when you call them about it.

... are you gonna open it, tho?

whats your first approach to this beast

looking for any sort of hole i can open from
man i just open it with my bare hands, the scissors that god gave me
double check that there isn't a label
oh fug its just like Glass Onion (2022)!
any like... washi tape or something on it. anything to know it's not a bomb
i grab some scissors and get ready

ok so this box is more durable than you thought. what's your plan b

gonna go look for my chainsaw
i dunno but i think i saw like, bite marks? from some animal
no but like is there really nothing written on this damn thing
ok so i call my friend to come poke at this thing but they end up not picking up
starting to think i should just put it back outside
call my dad he knows how to open boxes good

ok you turn it over in your hands after struggling for a while. whats it sound like?

tunk
sff
thud
thwack
thff
clatter

so it hasnt exploded yet and that's awesome. you managed to get some tape off. next order of action?

i just open it normal-style
peek in first and then open it
careful. im afraid if i open this wrong i will explode still
get someone else to open the flaps
open that thang as fast as possible
i dont trust the flaps. i cut my own hole

BLARGH JUMPSCARE!

aie! cruel, cruel trickster!
you just waved your hands. what do you want me to do
why did you put another jumpscare
sorry i wasnt looking what happened
*jumpscares back* BLARGH! see i can do it too!
AUGH!

OK sorry i was bored. youre taking a while to open this

yeah i need to like be careful though
it'll be open when it's open man
sorry i dont trust Big Flap like that
not my fault! im trying to speedrun this shit!
sorry :(
you could help :/

you opened it. now its full of some sort of packing material?

YO PACKING PEANUTS ‼‼‼‼
this thing has like five layers of finely folder tissue paper
theres like a lot of smaller boxes in here. is that packing material to you
looks like theres like just cloth in here
...it's not, actually, it's completely unpadded
it's the standard bubble wrap

okay you can reach in and look at it now i think i got the packing stuff out.

i coulda handled it :/
oh cool ok. *does not reach in*
omg thx i was struggling
WOW! LETS GO
you THINK?? uhh
you are DEPRIVING me of ENRICHMENT

anyway good luck with your thing im going home now

fuckkk yeah *not listening*
is this like, it?
sorry i wasnt listening, what? *i am already out the door*
thanks for the help man
wait, come back i'm scared
thanks you :) *hides it*