whats your first approach to this beast

• looking for any sort of hole i can open from
• man i just open it with my bare hands, the scissors that god gave me
• double check that there isn't a label
• oh fug its just like Glass Onion (2022)!
• any like... washi tape or something on it. anything to know it's not a bomb
• i grab some scissors and get ready

ok so this box is more durable than you thought. what's your plan b

• gonna go look for my chainsaw
• i dunno but i think i saw like, bite marks? from some animal
• no but like is there really nothing written on this damn thing
• ok so i call my friend to come poke at this thing but they end up not picking up
• starting to think i should just put it back outside
• call my dad he knows how to open boxes good

ok you turn it over in your hands after struggling for a while. whats it sound like?

• tunk
• sff
• thud
• thwack
• thff
• clatter

so it hasnt exploded yet and that's awesome. you managed to get some tape off. next order of action?

• i just open it normal-style
• peek in first and then open it
• careful. im afraid if i open this wrong i will explode still
• get someone else to open the flaps
• open that thang as fast as possible
• i dont trust the flaps. i cut my own hole

BLARGH JUMPSCARE!

• aie! cruel, cruel trickster!
• you just waved your hands. what do you want me to do
• why did you put another jumpscare
• sorry i wasnt looking what happened
• *jumpscares back* BLARGH! see i can do it too!
• AUGH!

OK sorry i was bored. youre taking a while to open this

• yeah i need to like be careful though
• it'll be open when it's open man
• sorry i dont trust Big Flap like that
• not my fault! im trying to speedrun this shit!
• sorry :(
• you could help :/

you opened it. now its full of some sort of packing material?

• YO PACKING PEANUTS ‼‼‼‼
• this thing has like five layers of finely folder tissue paper
• theres like a lot of smaller boxes in here. is that packing material to you
• looks like theres like just cloth in here
• ...it's not, actually, it's completely unpadded
• it's the standard bubble wrap

okay you can reach in and look at it now i think i got the packing stuff out.

• i coulda handled it :/
• oh cool ok. *does not reach in*
• omg thx i was struggling
• WOW! LETS GO
• you THINK?? uhh
• you are DEPRIVING me of ENRICHMENT

anyway good luck with your thing im going home now

• fuckkk yeah *not listening*
• is this like, it?
• sorry i wasnt listening, what? *i am already out the door*
• thanks for the help man
• wait, come back i'm scared
• thanks you :) *hides it*

Submit

BBCode:

HTML: