my cpap mask's filter broke off today so im without a mask for a bit :S auuu auuu. on the bright side, i got my leg bandaged again at wound care, i really like the people who work there.

but i guess that's not what i wanted to like, focus on in this entry... i guess i will soft-cw talk of death in this one!

i thought today about like... what other people probably think about me. if i compared how i feel now about it to how i felt when i was in school, it'd be a super stark contrast - you probably wouldnt believe i could change so much!

i don't really know when i decided to do this, maybe when i found my confidence, but i decided one day that i wanted to do things that make me AND other people smile. i want to be weird, i want to be someone that people remember because of how odd i was. i like being whimsical and strange, and i like causing people to stop and think about things.

like, in the past, i HATED people thinking or talking about me - because i was bullied quite harshly! - but once i graduated, i was able to start recovering from it and relearn what it means to live freely.

so i guess from here i've decided to live earnestly, doing whatever makes me happy or whatever makes me laugh and whatever makes other people join me in celebrating our shared existence...

i dont rly know where i was going w this one... i got a big headache and had to close my text editor. LOL. anyway thanks